You have three children, whom you love dearly. They’re all under the age of 10, so they still require a fair amount of supervision. As you and your spouse begin to talk about getting a divorce, you know that your goal is to put as little pressure or stress on the children as possible. You don’t want this to affect their lives any more than it has to.
At the same time, though, you worry that your custody schedule is going to be difficult for them to deal with. They’ll have to adjust to living in two new homes. They may wish they had the same items — toys, books, even bedding — at both houses, but it’s just not possible. They may be worried about leaving the friends they have made in the neighborhood.
Many people assume this is inevitable. It’s just going to happen if parents decide to get divorced. But is there actually a plan that could remove a lot of this pressure?
Nesting may be a solution that focuses on your kids
One potential child-focused solution is called birdnesting or, more commonly, just nesting.
You still need a custody schedule. You could have custody on the weekdays, for instance, while your ex has custody on the weekends. Or you could both trade back and forth every other week. The need for that schedule doesn’t change.
What changes is who has to move. The children get to stay in the home that they already live in, and you and your ex just keep it together when you divide assets. You also get new places to live outside of the house.
Then, when it’s your turn to have custody, you live in the home with the children. When it is your ex’s turn, they move into that home. The two of you do all of the moving and the children remain in the home that they know and love, as comfortable as they were before.
Considering complex solutions
It’s not impossible to find excellent custody solutions. Just make sure you know what options you have, even if they’re complex, that put your children first.